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George W. Bush
Our 43rd president, born on the glorious 4th of July in 1948, has achieved much in his 8 years as president of the glorious nation of America. He had brought us to economic prosperity, cleansed Iraq of Muslims, and created the worlds first underwater community. Glorious Accomplishments Our glorious ex-leader has given us economic reforms that make the Japanese wet their pants. He has made many middle class Americans (especially those in the Detroit area) prosporus citizens. In 2003 he liberated Iraq from the rule of that Nazi Saddam Hussien. He dismantled the country's Weapons of Mass Destruction, executed Saddam Hussien, and converted the natives to glorious Christianity. He also converted the city of New Orleans from a land city to an underwater city after Hurricane Katrina so the citizens could have better lives. Obey the Glorious Leader Bush is watching you. There is nowhere you can run or hide if you are an Enemy of the State...we will find you, and when we catch you we will take you to a recorrectional facility to reprogram your loyalty to king and country. If you do not obey the glorious leader life will be worse than Hell. We are the voice of the new generation. We are the voice of the new people. The destructive ways of the past are gone. We will replace them with our vision of the future. The Party will lead us to the new age. There have been those who have tried to stop the new age. They are the corrupt reminder of the past. They have tried to confuse us with the idea that the old America under Clinton was a good country. We know that lie. History teaches us that lie. We are grateful to our Glorious Leader who saved the world from destruction, and we can now join him in a world of Conservative brotherhood. Everyone will go to school, everyone will have a job, everyone will be equal. No one will exploit or be exploited, AND ALL THOSE WHO OPPOSE THIS WONDERFUL VISION WILL BE CRUSHED LIKE THE FILTHY INSECTS THEY ARE!!! Notable statements General "They misunderestimated me." — Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000 "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." — Saginaw, Michigan; September 29, 2000 "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." — Poplar Bluff, Missouri; September 6, 2004 Spoonerisms "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —La Crosse, Wisconsin, October 18, 2000 "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." —January 2000 Foreign affairs "Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." — Addressing then-Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the APEC Summit, Sept. 7, 2007 Economics "There's no question about it. Wall Street got drunk—that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras—it got drunk and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments." — Speaking at a private fundraiser and surreptitiously recorded by a reporter with the footage subsequently leaked on various news outlets, Houston, Texas, July 18, 2008 "I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system." — Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008 Education "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" — Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000 "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." — On the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C.; Sept. 26, 2007"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." —Washington, D.C.; Jan. 23, 2004